Where do I start?

It is just the fourth day of the year and I have already learned some great stuff.

I am old.
Stink bugs are flippin everywhere.
I should have been Amish.
Mice like my engine and corn.
Some people enjoy being miserable.
I am socially dysfunctional...


I will start with today because Ashley is waiting for the Raven's game update. Today I was personally invaded by stink bugs. I guess because Randy keeps the corn stove cranked up on high and that it is a blazing 80 degrees in our house that the stink bugs have found their sanctuary. Today was no exception for the bugs. Not only do they love our house but they love my clothes. I just wanted to take a shower and wash away the icing plops and pack up all of the Christmas poop. The shower was luke warm (Randall) and my easy pants to my alarm and half naked displeasure were filled with the nasty prehistoric foul smelling beasts. I found that screaming didn't really help get them out, and I quickly put the matches away but really there has to be some way to get rid of these beasts.

On to yesterday. I was celebrating with Robin our half day of freedom. See, the kids have been on vacation but no sports argh, which is better? So we get rid of the kids but that night basketball starts. So we had one day where there were no kids and we could ignore our impending chaos of the run to practice and the throwing together of some food products and heat that I will call "dinner damn it". No bakery, no kids, no husband, no farm, no sports. But, this was only to last half a day. darn it. We had a great day in Annapolis!!! Even if it wasn't a full day it was ours and we were free. That is until the ride home and I start to smell smoke. Holy crap batman, I think my car is on fire. I'm not pulling over but I hurry home and rush to find Randy. I open the hood and I can really smell it. Crap he is gonna kick my butt. I can't even remember the last time I checked the oil in this loud gray crapper. So Nathan peeks under the hood because he simply has to see and hear everything. There are no secrets from my Nathan. If curiosity kills the cats it is good it doesn't kill sons. "So, Momma why is there corn all over you engine?". "I swear I didn't do it Momma". I squint my eyes at him and realize he is scared that I will think it is him and to be honest I did have to think about it a little. Sad I know. He is like him Momma... So Randy walks over and looks at Nathan and I staring into the engine. I can't for the life of me figure out how all of this corn got under the hood. Randy laughs and said it must have been the mice eating out of the corn stove buckets and hiding it in my car for later. Whatever, I still haven't found a reason to like or better not hate those little mice rats.

Ravens game to follow....

Lv, Jenny

Christmas cards.

I would first like to point out that I have the best neighbors that anyone could ever ask for. Ok, so it took me a few years to introduce myself but I am reminded daily that it was an excellent move. It is a great feeling to know someone that is so much like me and loves my children is only a hop skip and a jump away (thanks, again for watching the kids when Matt decided to make a puzzle out of his arm...). I know that they will never smoke behind the barn or shoot cats without getting caught by another two sets of eyeballs. To date I received the best Christmas card from them, a loving picture of the couple and their hairy beasts. (I played the part of Mr. P. and Randy was Mrs. P. hee hee hee) We still want to know how you got that picture!!!!!!!!

It has been a few years since I have sent Christmas cards. Much in our life was just another day to get through. We lost the ambition to do the things you are supposed to do and just reach inside and gather what you love close. For us it was first our children then our friends that without asking lifted us up. All that we have been through is beyond words or a well worded preprinted card. We love our family and friends all through the year.

For it has only been the last year that this holiday has been more than just about exchanging gifts. It is striking to learn the history of our religion and not to be moved by the date that started it all. There are days that I think that it must have been so wonderful to be Mary and then others where I don't think I could have been strong enough to go through all of the tragedy.

We have received many cards this season. Some from old friends with pictures that make you warm and smile. Some with just names scratched at the bottom of a hallmark message, some with angels and mistimed apologies, some from department stores that I burned the card in with a coupon hoping I'm not done shopping....

So, for those that we love and cherish, know that you are loved and thought about everyday not just in the holiday season.

Peace be with you in the chaos of this week before Christmas.

Love,
Jenny

Olive Garden

My boiled in oil partners are a little worried. Hee hee I haven't got the shakes from the neglect of the boiled in oil fries and soda pop that my body just "had to have". Don't get me wrong I do miss them but the wake up call I had really scared me. I know it is "just" Pre diabetes but.... I always thought that my Mother's illness was preventable and she didn't care enough to take care of herself. Now, here I am same organ same swan song. Only exception I care. I will try my best not to let my body end up like hers. So, I do my best but yes, I know almost radically.

I also know that I have one of the best friends ever. I am blessed. Without question or comment we went out to dinner to a place I could make a better choice and she has not complained at all. She also was there with me on my very worst days, even came into work and made me eat. She called me, asked questions and prayed for me. When the news came back that my Pancreas numbers were fluey she was on the Internet,didn't let me think about mom. Potassium numbers crazy; back on google search. She went to her Dr. got all of her kids healthy then asked him some questions about me. Just speechless.


So, here I stand shopping in the old fart isles of the food store and the pharmacy with a strong need for a pill box and some saggy nylons. But smiling.

For the first time in over a year I feel like knitting. Reading a book, shopping for Christmas and dealing with the world. It has been nice to be able to walk away from the fetal position that had taken over.

I am having fun making all of those crazy cakes at the bakery. Using my art that had been bottled up has been rewarding but I do miss "my thing". My yarn business. Ahh, there will be a time for that again. I have had long talks with what I can do once the nest is empty. For I am just beginning baby!!
Have a good cold one,
Jenny

Peas.

I said to myself when I felt my worst that I would do whatever it took to feel better.... My little brain was thinking that I would have to take a pill and maybe see some doctors. Now, yes, I take some pills but I have to change my whole eating life. As anyone that has ever been out to eat with me I could easily say that I can pack it in and I like my BOILED IN OIL.

I can do this right? Sitting and looking up the info and going over basic facts with the Dr. the warning signs to diabetes have been there for over a year. Much like anything, I had convinced myself that I was just becoming an OLD FART! As much as that pained me it was easier than thinking that there was just something going on. I lost almost 20 lbs (working at a bakery and next to the doughnut station?? duh), I was so tired that I couldn't function without a nap as soon as I got home from work and then still going to bed at 8:30. Not being able to do anything around the house. Feeling so sick to my stomach in the a.m. that I have even taken some pregnancy tests. I mean that is easier than going to the Dr. right?? Maybe it is stress? Well.... That sounded perfect too but this year has been a lot better than last so if it was stress you would have thought that my stomach would have just disintegrated last year.

Ok, so there was a little stress, there was signs that I might have drilled hole in my stomach, but there were the blood sugar numbers. The Dr's said it must be in your family somewhere. As Dr. Becky said, "fat, forty or family". I am 37 damn it! I'm not fat (however I eat like I am...) and family, not that I know but Mom did die of Pancreatic cancer.

So, here I am, trying to save my body, convinced I will end up like my mother if I eat any sugar. I eat peas. I really need to read more books so I can eat something other than peas. The books say that is easier to become a vegetarian than it is to redefine your diet. Veggies suck. I mean veggies are yummy. Maybe I can boil them in oil. So. Here I go to make some Turkey dinner and peas hee hee. can you deep fry tofu?

So have a great one! I am super Thankful. I know why my body feels like crap. I can fix it. And I have a great group of people around me that have lifted me up yet again without me asking. I am BLESSED! sniffle, sniffle.

Happy Thanksgiving!
Jenny

Pancreas

I haven't been around much lately..... We just passed the 6th anniversary of my mother's very short but violent battle with Pancreatic cancer. I never try to get wrapped up in dates but she died the day after my daughter's birthday so it is hard to forget.... This year I had another swift kick in the groin almost to the day. I have been feeling really bad. It was worse than morning sickness with the babies and the ulcer. So I went to the Dr. never thinking that anything would not be able to be fixed by a pill.... The Dr. said I was stressed and that I need to deal with the stress. Really. Then 2 days later I couldn't even get out of bed and I had a wedding cake to do. I really needed to get there. I called the Dr. made another appointment and to my joy she ordered a lot of tests. Blood tests. Nuts! She thinks I have an ulcer but we need to make sure that it isn't bacterial.

A few days later I get a call from the Dr. and she said all of my numbers are out of whack and she thinks it might be Pancreatitis and that my sugar is high, Potassium is dangerously low. Hello Internet investigation. Well, we all know where that ends. The scary road to every horror story world wide.

I try to keep an open mind but the ulcer meds aren't working AT ALL! I can't sleep I can't function. I don't even know how I got to work. All I know is that I have funky numbers, I can't eat, My Robin is scared and I have left Randy in a huge bind on the farm because we just have to get the crops in. Not to mention I now have something wrong with my Pancreas. The one organ that I never wanted to hear about ever again especially after it only being 6 years.

So the Dr. orders more tests. Barium swallow, Ultra sound and a lot more blood work. She calls me again next day, number are still way off. Blood sugar is really high, potassium low. I think you might have type one diabetes. HOLY CRAP.

She said there was scaring in the part above the stomach which could have been from the ulcer ten years ago but it could be from my recent troubles. Call this surgeon you need to get scoped. WHAT? And, we need MORE BLOOD WORK. nuts double.

So, here I sit waiting to get another phone call. Still knowing my pancreas is off and knowing that my body is still not right. Of all of the times in my life a pill can't fix me... Everything happens for a reason but my Pancreas? Really? I always thought that my mother had killed herself. She drank more than anyone should in three lifetimes, smoked and overall had poor health all of her life. Here I am proudly never done drugs, don't drink and only smoked one ciggy in all of my life (and barfed...). So, maybe I am supposed to find more compassion for my mother rather than the anger I have felt for all of my life.

So, on my day off I will sit in a tractor and mow stalks and think and think and think and wait for the call. triple nuts. Somehow I am praying this will turn into a funny story...

Lets watch a cake show.

I just got done celebrating the end of the Wedding Season from Heck town and I realize I am still knee deep in fondant. "I want a cake for my son to look like a leaf, a giant leaf with bugs all over it. A butterfly, a dragonfly, caterpillar, and bees and ladybugs." The lady came back in and said she loved it, when she got home...called, "there weren't enough bugs on it for all the money I paid!". I know where some ladybugs could fit lady...

"I would like a three tiered cake with a monkey and a lion and ships and palm trees on it and I would like the monkey and lion to be made out of that fonyant stuff. You know that play dough stuff like on tv." "I want to out do my mother-in-laws cake, so make it tall like a wedding cake, oh and I need it to be under 100$".

I have a new set of fine lines on my forehead and upper lip (no waxing accident) from the constant confused frown that is plastered on my face. I can't even hide the "you are a retard" look.

"My 2 year old loves cars". " He loves the new Cube looking car so I want a cake to look just like that"(I am loaded and don't care how much pain this puts your decorator in...).

Ok, vent over. maybe.(that is just this week)

I really so love the part where I get to use all of the training I got in school drawing naked, fat, excited, gay, truck drivers. (another story for another day)(I keep pushing cap locks and I am about to hit my head on the keyboard...) but I have to admit that at 4:30 -5:00 a.m. I an in a trance just looking at the order board where they put new orders that came in the day before. I stare at it and hope I just can't focus yet, hope it is the lack of caffeine and then my boss comes up and (sometimes giggles) and says isn't that one gonna be a stinker.

I did have to turn one down last week, well refuse to do it how the customer wanted it. "full sheet cake, white butter cream, Happy 10th Birthday (soon to be convict) decoration: machine guns, rifles, hand guns bullet holes and blood spatters." really. nope. Hello Chestertown weirdo, Jenny is a lover and you are bad parents.

Well, getting ready for Maggie's birthday. I guess I have to make a superduper cake hee hee. Lets do something bloody...

Well, speaking of; gotta go get my little love bird while the boys are out hitting the walnuts that all fell out of the tree and all over the yard last night ( I did feel bad when one fell out of the tree and hit Matt in the face. I am glad he wasn't hurt and I can laugh now... I guess I am fitting in with the parents above mentioned...)

Have a good one!
Jenny

I fed a King today... for serious

I can honestly say that I have never had a dull moment at the bakery. When business is slow the young women fill the drama void. This weekend was no exception. As I have been heavily celebrating the end of my super busy wedding season and the knocking down of any balls that are thrown at me to make the chaos worse.... today I had the coolest orders.

Ok. So I forgot to take pictures.... But I made a fun cheeseburger cake and I thought that was just the beginning. Then, the owner said we had a weird order from Molly (manager) and I thought oh boy here we go hee hee. She said that we got a huge order for some king. Some King huh. Was it a prank call? No, she even wrote on the order "For serious!". Well, ok. We google searched and realized that this might be a for serious thing. I tried to approach the order as if it was any other customer but it was for a KING. My pastry confections might change him. He might come back and give me a million dollar tip. He might use 10 of his 21 billion dollars and Save America? So then the pressure was on. I tugged on all of my icing squirting ability and tried my best to pour as much love as I could into the 55 cupcakes. As it was to save America.

So like all of the wedding cakes that I poop out, I may just never know how the king liked the pumpkin bars or tea cakes or the 55 cupcakes of love but I can always say that I have fed a King. For serious.

Have a good one. And stay POSITIVE you don't want to piss off the gremlins...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khalifa_bin_Zayed_Al_Nahyan